Scarcity and Depth
Am I... capable of thought? Jk, jk.
I miss the times we sent letters and used payphones.
Okay, fine. I wasn’t there, but I miss the self I imagine I would become in that kind of world. A patient version of me that doesn’t confuse access with connection, or one that didn’t measure my connection with someone by how fast they replied.
Even in high school, letters during funkies came with that excitement because they weren’t constant and took time and effort. They were out of willingness, and not obligation.
And that process of sending mail? Never casual. It took an entire production team and a budget. You’d start by looking for that glitter pen that you had to sacrifice a pinpop for, then get the classmate with the best handwriting to write it for you on paper you borrowed from another class because it had flowers on the borders. Finally, you'd staple the piece of paper with an unreasonable number of staples in the name of privacy.
Encryption has nothing over this. Okay, another lie detected. I was part of the group in the bus that would pick them out one by one, read the note, then return the staples to their exact position. Very dextrous work, but sewing is where I draw the line.
You’d then wait anxiously, hoping they could write back to you the same day. If not, you’d end up counting the days to the next funkie. This waiting gave it some weight. The anticipation would build so high that half the mail being shoutouts to backbenchers and reggae lovers didn’t matter— what mattered was that they took the time to write back.
The scarcity created meaning. Depth. It created a kind of intention that feels lacking in today’s conversations.
Technology has made communication a tiresome, robotic task, carrying zero depth or emotion. and access to someone has become obligatory. We reply just to get someone off our backs. I get checking up, but it starts to feel suffocating.
This sounds very avoidant, and people in relationships are quaking in their boots, lakini wacha niongee!!😂 There have to be ways to overcome this nature of communication. Please take out your notebooks. This will be on the exam.
Number one, set boundaries, even if you don’t say them out loud. It could even be in the form of a routine or just how you roll in the long term. Let people know when you’re available and how they can reach you. Properly communicate, as this reduces anxiety from others and the burden of people expecting a reply from you all the time.
You could also go for quality over quantity. Even if it’s for a few minutes a day or once a week of proper conversation, whether it’s a call, detailed texts, or a voice note. I have a friend who resurfaces every 2-3 months with pictures, updates, and stories, and honestly, I feel more connected to them than people I talk to daily.
Another way is to be creative. Form new ways of engagement and conversation. It gets to a point where the ssups and wyd are not it. Also, reduce the number of ssups you’re sending Kamau. Maybe that’ll let you get more intentional with what you’re writing. Even fishing lines come with one bait. Don’t start with nets. Can you cast a net alone? Maybe. Anyway….
The problem isn’t the technology. In fact, all hail technology. I have a personal journal (and an audience😏) without having to smell the ink from ballpoint pens or use the countless journals I’ve bought over the years.
The thing is, we let communication lose its intentionality. Let's be purposeful, guys. (Conclusion😂)
Anyway, do what you want, and if I throw a lazy wyd your way, ignore it. I’m still taking notes in my own class.
Msinichape!
Ciao.
